Silverbolt's Requiem
by ToaVeka
Summary: Silverbolt crashes during a mission. Result: His spark is damaged and he falls into a coma. Can the young gestalt team learn to cope with the possibility of Silverbolt dieing? A couple OCs as background characters, no romance.
1. You have to understand

* * *

This fic has been giving all kinds of merry grief. I wanted it to really show the Aerialbots and the way they think. I also wanted it to feel _real_, that it was happening. Writing in this style was brutal, and will continue to be untill this story is finished.

On that note, this is an odd style, and while my two friends who proofread it for me (THANK YOU you two! ) say that it's excellent, telling a story from multiple first-person angles is not usually considered a good idea. After all this work, I can see why. With all that in mind, please do leave a review, and if it seems that this format is not appreciated, I'll change it to a more common style. That is all.

* * *

_We were all expecting it. We didn't even bother to pretend we weren't. All of us just sat in a group, waiting for the door to open. Someone would come; someone would tell us if Silverbolt had survived._

Chapter 1 – **_You Have to Understand_**

- _365 days left_ -

-May 5th. Approx. 5:30 pm. Airraid's POV-

We'd be in medbay, by his side, but the medics needed room. They yelled at us to leave, and when we didn't, yelled for some others to drag us away. I think it was the twins, Ironhide and Blades, I can't remember. I was too busy trying to stay with my commander.

It was my fault, me and my damn hotheadedness. When I saw Starscream, did I say to myself "Airraid, it's a trap. Listen to Silverbolt and stay in formation"? No, I yelled "He mine" and rocketed off after the Decepticon. Fastrack yelled for me to break off my attack and to get back on Skydive's tail. Silverbolt ordered it. And I ignored them. And now Silverbolt's dieing. Why did he have to play the hero? I could have taken that volley.

Skydive's got his head in his hands. I don't think he's moved since he was forced to sit down. Silverbolt's his brother, and now his brother's dieing. Fastrack's staring off into space, I know she blames me but won't say anything. What's she thinking? She's moved even less than Skydive… My brothers are sitting beside and across from me. I can see Slingshot rubbing his head, Flight's leaning on my arm. Every once in a while he'll shift away or huddle closer…

The door! It opens; we all look up. It's Siren, Prowl's assistant. "Skydive, may I speak with you?" Oh Primus no…

* * *

-Same day, Approx 7:00 am. Silverbolt's POV-

"There's Starscream!" Airraid breaks formation and goes after the red Seeker.

"Raid! Get back in formation!" Yells Fastrack.

"Back in formation Airraid," I order. "Leave Starscream."

"He's MINE!" Roars Airraid. He dives for the Decepticon. Damn it! It's probably a trap. Why won't Airraid follow orders?

… My proximity alert! Oh slag, four missiles headed straight for Airraid! There's no way he'll survive!

Well… I-if I can't make him obey me… I can at least… Save his life…

"Airraid! LOOK OUT!" Nose up, times… Slowing down… Down… Don't look down; don't think about how far I'll fall. I gotta… Gotta save Airraid… Even if… I have to… have to ram those missiles!

"Silverbolt! NO!"

… Skydive?

* * *

- Same day, Approx 5:15 pm. Slingshot's POV-

Worst slagging day of my life. I just keep thinking about what I should 'a done. Damn it! Bolt should 'a followed his own advice and not flown higher. Why did he do it? Why? I could 'a shot the missiles down! I could 'a shot Airraid down for Primussake! It's not like it would 'a hurt Raid; he can take anything.

Damn, we all expected Airraid to charge in like that, but no one expected you to fly up and take the hit like that! Primus Bolt! You went down like a rock. I-I… don't think…Somehow, you weren't afraid…

* * *

-Same day, Approx 7:03 am. Silverbolt's POV-

Warmth… No, searing heat… Its blue… Or is it red? I hear… Sounds?

"Silverbolt!"

"PULL up you… veRBOLT!"

They… Mean something… I was… Doing something…Important. Oh well… What could be wrong? I'm flying aren't I?

…No wait… I'm… Falling… funny, I'm supposed to be afraid of falling. Actually, it's very nice… Feels like flying but easier… Maybe I should pull up? Nah… I'm too tired…

-Center Skydive-

He could see his brother point his nose upwards. What could he… Silverbolt's planning to ram the missiles! A bang, a _SCREECH!_ Of ripping, shredding metal. Silverbolt plummets.

"Silverbolt!"

"Pull up you glitch!" Yells Fastrack vainly. "Come on! SILVERBOLT!"

Skydive plunges after his elder brother, forgetting everything except that his brother's in trouble. Silverbolt is muttering unconsciously into his comm, terrifying his younger brother. "Silverbolt! BROTHER!"

The Concord drops straight down. When he impacts the earth, it is with the force of a bullet. As the dust clears, it reveals Silverbolt, laying crumpled and smoking in the center of a blasted crater, missing his wings, one leg maimed beyond recognition and a fountain of energon spraying from his sparking chest.

-Silverbolt's POV-

"Silverbolt! You're gonna be okay! You _gotta_ be okay!"

… Voices?

"Damn… You HEAr me!?" Hey Skydive, I can hear you. Why are you talking like that?

"SILVer… To me! Don't…Sleep okay?" Sta… wake!"

I don't understand what… I'm tired… Maybe I should sleep?

"**SI**L**ve**boLT! Don… DIE!

Die? I'm… Dieing? No way… This is too nice to be dieing…

"WHADDYA mean… hoUR! He's Fou…ning energ…"

What are they saying? It's so hard to understand… Oh, the sky, it's beautiful… such… a pure… lovely blue…

…

"OUT!" Loud… I see… movement? Colours?

"He's my BROTHER!" "Put a clamp…" "Losing him!" "Slaggit! Get…"

So many voices. So many colours… But what does it all mean?

"…VERBOLT! SILVERBOLT!"

"You ain't… OUT!"

Can't see… Colours… are leaving… I feel… Cold.

* * *

-Same day, Approx 5:35 pm. Fireflight's POV-

"Silverbolt?" Its all Dive can say. I don't blame him. I don't blame anyone. Somehow, I always knew this would happen. But it doesn't make it any easier. Oh Silverbolt, you're our commander. We need you. Siren's saying something, I can't hear what. Skydive looks numb, he's just nodding mutely. Raid's shaking, I can feel it. He's been shaking since we sat down. He never afraid, but right now, he's terrified. Fastrack's… Fastrack? She looks angry. Why?

"B-but… He'll be alright… Right?" Skydive's talking… Wait… Does that mean Silverbolt's alive?

Siren's shaking her head though… "I don't know, but he'll live."

He will!? That's great! Silverbolt's gonna be okay! But… Siren looks so sad… and why does Fastrack seem so angry?

"I just though you should know Skydive, I'm sorry." Skydive's nodding again. Siren turns and leaves.

"Catch him."

What? Fastrack's looking at me. "Catch him." She repeats. Oh! Skydive collapsed! Airraid and Slingshot caught him though. Fastrack's stood up, but she's headed for the door.

… I-I'd better help my brothers revive Skydive.

-Fastrack's POV-

"Catch him," I say it quietly. Fireflight looks over. "Catch him!" Skydive's about to collapse! Good, Airraid and Slingshot caught him arms before he hit the ground. I should stay, but htere's something I need to do.

Gah! That idiot! Why did she do that? Telling only Skydive and therefore forcing him to have to tell us. Never mind that we don't know how to comfort him. Damn it! We were there too. I remember every detail. When Silverbolt went down, the others dove after him. I whirled on the Seekers, wish I could say that I shot them down, but the cowards fled. Then I went to join the others. Silverbolt was shredded, there's no other way to put it. I could see that it was too much for the Aerialbots; their young minds could not- and still can not - accept what's happened. Skydive was shaking Silverbolt's shoulders, trying to get him to wake up. I shoved him away and grabbed Silverbolt's gushing fuel lines to try and keep him alive.

I don't know if he could hear me, but I kept yelling at him to stay awake...

They came for him... Of course they did. Optimus sent Ratchet and First Aid with Skyfire the instant he got the comm. They stabilized him as best they could and carried him into Skyfire's hold. Ratchet tried to get the othr Aerialbots out, they were in the way. I don't think that they really knew what was going on. I grabbed Slingshot and dragged him out, Ratchet forced Skydive away...

I just realized something, Fireflight was the one who dragged Airraid out of the medics' way. And... when we were back at base, he was the only one who didn't struggle when we were dragged out of medbay... Skydive was hysterical. Silverbolt's his brother. Which is probably why Siren felt that only he should be told what's happening.

And that is why I am going to talk to her.

"Siren."

"Fastrack," she gives me that look of sorrow. "I'm so very-"

"No, you're not," I'm in no mood for sympathy, Siren. I am gonna tell you exactly what you did wrong. "Why did you do that?"

"I don't understand." Hmph. She's treating me like I'm frantic with grief. I'm not; grief makes me hurt, but it clears my mind.

"Siren, why did you talk to Skydive like that? I don't care about protocol or that "relatives only" clause, that was cruel of you."

"Excuuuse me?" Well, at least she has the decorum to look affronted.

"Did you expect him to tell the rest of us? To understand? Siren, the Aerialbots are young. They've never experienced death before, never mind the death of a teammate. And the fact that we're flyers makes it worse!"

"It does?"

"Yeah, we flyers are really codependant by nature, we rely on each other. I can tell you this right now; every single Aerialbot blames himself for what happened." I make a cutting gesture across my chest with my thumb to emphasize my point. "And the Aerialbots are a combiner, which means, in the eternal words of Ratchet that they're "clingy little buggers." They can't be without each other for extended periods of time."

Siren bows her head. "I'm sorry... It was rather ignorant of me."

I nod. "Yes it was. Now tell me what's going on. I'll tell the others."

"Okay.. Well..."

-Slingshot's POV-

"It's alright Dive, it's alright." Flight's been saying that since we got Dive to sit back down. I dunno if he can even hear it. Damn it! I gotta know what's happening to Silverbolt, but I can't ask Dive!

"Bitch!" SLAM!

Eh? Oh, Fastrack's back, where did she go? She's standing by Skydive now. She looks pretty grim. "I'll tell them Skydive, you don't need to be here if you don't want to."

"Th-thanks." He stands up and stumbles into his quarters.

Fastrack isn't sitting down though, she's just standing there grimly. She looks like shes steadying herself. "I'm gonna say it like it is guys. Silverbolt's critical, but stable. There's a fifty-fifty chance he'll live, and getting better."

"That's good right?" Asks Flight before I can.

"Yeah, he should be physically fine."

"YES!" Airraid looks thrilled. Well I am too, and so is Flight. So why does Fastrack look so worried?

"But..." But? What could be wrong? Fastrack's hesitating. "There's a good chance that his spark's damaged."

"What?" Spark damage? B-but... Silverbolt's... He can't... Anything but spark damage... Fastrack musta heard wrong. There's no way that he won't wake up. it can't happen!

"Guys, listen to me," We're listening dammit, how can we not? "Look, they don't know for sure, and even if his spark's damaged, it might be minimal. But if... it's not... Do you all understand what it could mean?"

"No..." Primus, my hands are shaking, I can see Flight gripping his arms fearfully... Raid's just staring at Fastrack. She puts her hands together and shakes her head.

"It could mean a lot of things. Silverbolt could lose some of his memories, he could have some of his abilities or functions erased. I-I've seen cases where they lost the capability to talk... Or transform... Or forget everthing, becoming blank slates, no more than living drones."

Fireflight jerks. "What!? So Silverbolt could die but his body would still be alive!?"

Fastrack's nodding. "That's it exactly Flight. But there would still be some awareness, some feeling in that shell."

I-I'm not the only one who's shaking, Flight and Raid are leaning on each other. I-I... Silverbolt... Primus, what have we done to you? I can't take it...

"Sling? You okay?" Fastrack's holding my shoulder. Of course I'm not okay! Dammit... Dammit...

-Airraid's POV-

I can't... This... It's too much... Silverbolt... A drone? Is Fastrack still talking? I can't hear. There's a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey kid, you alright?" Powerglide? What's he doing here? "Listen, I just saw Ratchet, he wants you and skydive in medbay ASAP."

"Why?"

"Dunno, but you'd better go. Where's Skydive?"

"H-his quarters."

"Ah... Oi Fastrack!"

She's got Slingshot's arm, I don't think he even realizes that he's hugging himself. Fastrack looks up. "What?"

"Ratchet wants Skydive and Airraid in medbay. Now."

"Thanks. Hang in there Slingshot," Fastrack walks to skydive's room and opens the door. "Dive, medbay, now."

* * *

-Medbay-

"You wanted to see us?" Ratchet glances up to see Fastrack, Skydive and Airraid. He nods.

"Well, only those two, but you can stay."

Fastrack bows her head, please that Ratchet understands. She looks around. "Since I'm here, anything I can do?"

"Yes," Ratchet gestures to the others. "But in a minute. Firstly, Airraid, Silverbolt's missing some vital components that could be substituted from your secondary systems. Do you mind lending a few spare parts?"

"Anything! Bolt's damaged because of me, it's the least I can do."

Ratchet nods. He'd been relying on the Aerialbots' codependancy because he needed those parts and there were no spares. "Okay, good. Skydive, Prowl wanted to talk to you, and I'm sure you won't want to hear it, but it's important. Fastrack, tell Prowl he's a glitch and it my orders that you're along."

Fastrack nods. "Yes Ratchet. You know, you deserve your own set of wings." Ratchet catches the meaning of her comment and nods curtly. He gestures to Airraid and leads the F-15 down to Critical Repairs. Fastrack gently prods Skydive towards Prowl's office. "Come on you."

* * *

-Same Day, Approx 6:45 pm. Fastrack's POV-

"... Why?"

"Because it's logical. Compassion rarely enters Prowl's systems."

Mental note: Teach all Autobots snsitivity with an atom bomb. Really, that was just too much. First off Prowl tells Skydive about his responsibilities, and then about the Choice. No softening the blow, no comforting words, just cold efficiency.

Well... Time to bite the bullet and tell the others.

"Come one, you need to be here, but I'll do the talking." I open the door and usher Skydive in. Airraid's already back, good. He's talking to Fireflight and Slingshot. Powerglide and Skyfire are just stayinmg out of the way. "Hey guys."

"Hello Fastrack." Skyfire gesture at himself and Powerglide. I nod and they both casually leave, thank Primus for that... The remaining Aerialbots are looking at me and Skydive. Well, time to tell them.'

"Prowl had a few things to tell us, firstly, Skydive's Aerialbot commander while Silverbolt's in repair. And I won't bore you with the details."

"Real nice to know they've got it all organized." Mutters Slingshot.

"Yeah, I know. But that isn't it... Prowl got the full diagnosis off Ratchet. It's confirmed that Silverbolt's spark is damaged."

"What..." Fireflight's and Airraid's optics are glassing over, damn, I hate that look... It means that they want to stay with Silverbolt - Or to go with him. Slingshot's face has gone blank. He's too used to concealing emotion. Primus, I wish that there wasn't anything else to tell them... I really do...

"Ratchet doesn't know the full extent of the damage, but Bolt's gonna be in a coma for a while, maybe even forever."

"H-he's never gonna wake up?" Asks Airraid quietly. I think that the reality of all this is finally hitting them.

"They don't know... Listen.. If he doesn't wake up after a week..." I can't help but to gflance over at Skydive, he's shaking. I don't want to do this... but I have no choice." If he doesn't wake up after a week, they're gonna make us chose if it would be kinder to cut his fuel lines."

Fireflight jerks. he looks horrified. "Are you saying that we're gonna have to choose whether or not to kill him!?"

I bow my head, there is no way to soften this blow. "That's exactly what I mean Fireflight, I'm sorry."

* * *

Well, there's chapter one. Please review and leave crit/comments because it'll inspire me to write more, and this is a difficult tale to tell.

And if you don't like, fine, but flames are not allowed.


	2. Alone

Yeah Fastrack's an OC of mine. No, she's not going to be a central character. I had her in the first chapter mostly to keep the plot rolling. As to being female, I go with Wayward's belief; Gender is just another distinguishing characteristic to TFs and has nothing to do with reproduction or anything else. There is a mental portion, but it's not very much. Fastrack could be written as male without any difference.

* * *

_Losing Silverbolt like that was terrible, what was worse was how indifferent everyone else was. There were only about four Autobots who made an effort to help us cope._

Chapter Two- _**Alone**_

_-359 days left-_

-Skydive's POV. May 11th. 8:35 AM-

"So… Heard that you're Grand Poombah of the Aerials now that Silverbolt's outta the way."

"What?" I turn to face Sideswipe.

"Well, it's true ain't it?"

"What did you say about my brother?"

"What? He IS technically outta the way."

Is Sideswipe ignorant or does enjoy ripping open my wounds? "He is NOT "Outta the way!" He's in danger of dieing!"

Now HE starts bristling at ME. "Primus, I was just trying to congratulate you!"

"For loosing my brother!?" I practically yell it. Sideswipe balks away and looks shocked.

"Primus on a popsicle stick! I was just trying to cheer you up. Come on I know it was bad but Ratchet should have him patched up by now."

My hands are shaking, I clench them into fists, but that only causes my arms to tremble. "Bad nothing…"

"What? Was one of his primary systems fragged?"

"No," I-I… Slaggit… "Good bye." I walk away, I need to find the others… Silverbolt… You're dieing and their cracking jokes… Its not fair, it's just not fair. I'm here standing in front of your office except that it's MY office because you're not here, you're in medbay… Ratchet won't even let me come see you…

"If this is the commander of our Mighty Air Force, we're in trouble." I whirl.

… Gears and Brawn. What do they want?

"I'm telling you Brawn," Gears tilts his head up do that he's looking at me from the bottom of his optics. "These sparklings are more trouble than they're worth."

This time, it's me who's bristling.

"Ah, they're not bad," Says Brawn jovially. "Bit high strung, but that's to be expected."

"I'm right here you know…" I'm starting to wish that I could loom the way Silverbolt does… Did.

"So? Take the hint Wings."

"Well, I'm SORRY for being upset that my brother's dieing." Stay calm Skydive, you've always prided yourself on your composure…

"Bah, he ain't dieing, Ratchet got him all fixed up," Brawn shrugs. "He's probably just sulking."

Slag, my wings are shaking. "Pfft, that looks so cute!" Trust Gears to notice.

"Shut up," I hiss, I can't take this anymore. "Shut up, leave me alone."

"Hey now, be nice kiddo," Brawn growls.

"I'll be nice when you stop making light of my brother's spark damage!" There, I said it! Screamed it, whatever… Dammit… Now go away…

"Spark damage?" They look so… Surprised. Wait, they didn't know!? "Slag… Bolt's pretty young, that could really mess him up."

"Y-you think…" I can't keep this together much longer… I just want to get those files out of Silverbolt's office and go. "You think that… I don't know that?"

"Well, you are pretty-"

"What's going on then?" Hunh? Skyfire. His patrol, did it end?

"Hey Skyfire, just trying to have some polite conversation with the kid here," Brawn points at me. I want to hit him, do something to get that stupid look off his faceplate. "But he's being as bad as Sunstreaker."

"Funny, I was about to say the same thing about you two." I… Didn't know that Skyfire could loom like that…

"Excuse me?" Sputters Gears. "Us? We're just minding our own business and-"

"And bothering Skydive whilst he's trying to catch up on Silverbolt's work. Go disturb someone else's day." Skyfire looks angry. I'm glad he's not looking at me… Gears and Brawn look affronted, but I guess Skyfire scares them, they're leaving…

"Thanks…" I say when they're gone.

"No problem, you look down. Any news?"

"No…" I can't bring myself to tell him.

"Ah, I'm sorry," He pats my shoulder. "Would you like some help?"

"Thank you, but first I have to go and get the work." I force a smile and… I'm going to get those datapads… So…

"Actually… Skyfire?" Slag…

"Yes, what is it."

"I-I…" Slag. Slag. Slag.

"Can't go in," No accusation, no mockery, just a statement. "I understand. I'll get the datapads for you." He enters Bolt's office so easily when I can't force myself to go… This room… It's all him. It's full of things that are his. Things that he liked, things that he did… We teased him about it. Having an office and all. We liked going in, if only to bother him. Wish we could now…

"Skydive. Skydive?"

"Uh… Oh! Um…" Skyfire's offering me those datapads… Right. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome. How is your team?"

"Perfectly capable for combat, as I told Prowl." With no small amount of bitterness, I might add…

"No, I mean, how are they dealing with this?"

"I… Don't know…"

He sighs and walks beside me. "Skydive, I am aware that Silverbolt is you're brother, and that you mourn his injury. But you must hold the others on your team together. They need you."

"I… I can't." I look away.

"You are right. It is an impossible task. And an unfair one. Unfortunately, few Autobots see this fact. They expect you to carry on."

"Why?"

"It is a long story, Skydive, one that I cannot tell. You understand it instinctively, but to say it aloud…" Skyfire shrugs. "All I can say is that you must keep your team together at this time. Draw support from each other."

"Thanks…" I enter the Flyer's Common Area. There's Fireflight and Slingshot, sitting in front of the TV like always. Except… The TV's not on…

"Hey Dive…"

"Hey Sling… Flight." Like we always do. Except usually it's happier, or we're bored. Not now; we're so keyed up."

"Hiya Skyfire. What's new?" Fireflight is trying to be cheery I guess. It sounds wrong, hollow I guess.

"Oh nothing much Fireflight, though I did see some deer. We must go flying together someday."

Flight's got that same smile I've been wearing, the fake one. "Yeah, we will!"

There's something wrong… Something else… "Where's Airraid?"

Slingshot shakes his head. "He left earlier. Said he wanted to be left alone."

"Where did he go?" Skyfire sounds harsh suddenly.

"Dunno, I ain't his commander." Says Slingshot. No, you ain't Sling… Fireflight looks almost angry now. Sling looks like he's regretting those words, well, I am too. Airraid's commander, our wingmate, is dieing…

* * *

-Airraid's POV. Same day. 9:00 AM-

Slag if I know what I'm doing. I just… Wanted to be alone I guess. Primus, This really sucks exhaust. It's still confusing, like a blur to me. I'm not stupid; I just prefer to leave the thinking to others. Life's more fun that way. Right now I wish that for once, I had paused to think, maybe it would have kept this from happening…

Oh, who am I kidding? I would' a done it anyways. No one could expect Silverbolt to do that. But he did. Henh, it's almost funny… Bolt's always been the cautious one and…

…

What am I doing here? This is… This is the place Silverbolt got shot down.

…

I hate irony. Or whatever it's called. Well… I guess I should… Or not. I'll just look around. Maybe there's something I can find. It's a nice place I guess, an open plain, a few rocks scattered about. Flight mentioned that the flowers around here were stunning during the summer. It was morning when it happened. Right below me… That's where he crashed. I'm gonna go and…

I slowly arc down. There's something about this spot that's drawing me in, though I hate it. The grass here… it's covered in Silverbolt's fluids. Energon, oil, hydraulic liquids. It's all dry now… I kneel to touch a blade of grass. It's covered in Energon, sparkles in the sun. I guess chance made it stand up straight like this; it looks sorta like a knife… Maybe there's something poetic in the idea of a blade of grass in the shape of a knife. I wouldn't know.

Why am I thinking about poetry? I don't know, it's nicer than thinking about what happened here a few days ago I guess. The sky here is so blue, I can see some mountains in the distance, but until then, it's a flat plain. There's grass everywhere, except here, where Silverbolt crashed there's this brown crater, lined with glistening energon and oil. It's almost pretty.

… This is such a nice place actually. There's a fresh breeze here. If it wasn't for what happened here, I wouldn't mind coming back. And I guess I should head home. But… I feel like I should leave some sort of marker.

I sit on the edge of the crater, away from the energon. It was my fault that this thing's here. My fault that Silverbolt might not wake up. I pick up a few rocks and put the in a pile beside me. It's not much, but at least now there's something to show…

I really should head back. I stand, and take one last look around. It is a peaceful place. Maybe I'll come back sometime…

* * *

-Fireflight's POV. Same day, 9:45 AM-

"Hey Sling…"

"What?"

"Do you want to go find Airraid?"

"He can take care of himself Flight."

Yeah, he can… But still… Maybe I'm being paranoid. But I don't want to lose another wingmate. Primus, I wish I could talk to someone… Who'd understand.

"Hey guys, how are you feeling?" Primus, I didn't mean Smokescreen.

"Fine, go away." Well said Slingshot. We may not feel fine, but it's not like you care. You've been coming to see us every day, always asking the exact same thing. _Hey, how are you feeling?_ Like you care, it's just your job.

"Look now, I know you're all upset and all, but bottling it all up inside will just make it worse."

"So, you want us to get over our Gestaltmate's possible death, you want us to not care that a bit of our sparks is dieing." Finally, I've wanted to say that to him for a few days now. He has no right to tell us what we feel when we know!

"Now Fireflight, I didn't say that, I just meant that-"

"Go. Away. What part of that don't you understand?" Snarls Slingshot. "Or d'you need your state of mind evaluated?"

Smokescreen sits across from us and puts that longsuffering expression on his face. "Now, now. Let's all be cordial."

"What's going on out… Oh, hello Smokescreen." Guess we woke Powerglide up.

"Hello Powerglide, I'm sorry if we woke you up and-"

"Hey… Wait a click," Powerglide rubs his optics and looks around. "What are you doing here? This is the flyer's quarters."

Did he just… Say that? Smokescreen looks rather taken aback. "Yes, it is, why is that a problem?"

"You ain't a flyer for one… Out!" Powerglide points at the door.

"I'm busy talking with the Aerialbots, Powerglide, I'm sure that you can understand…"

"I understand that you're getting on my bad side, now get the frag outta here!" Powerglide goes and sticks his face right in Smokescreen's, the Spy seems surprised, well, so am I. What's gotten into Powerglide?

"Hey, hey! Okay… Come on you two," Smokescreen gestures at me and Slingshot. "We'll have to go somewhere else."

"We're staying right here." Growls Slingshot. "Nothin' against flyers being in here."

"I have a…"

"I SAID OUT!" Powerglide shoves Smokescreen out of his chair. Smokescreen scampers to his feet and bolts out of the room, followed by Powerglide. "AND STAY OUT!"

"Whoa…"

Now he turns to glare at Slingshot and I. "What are you looking at?"

Well, considering our incredulous and somewhat amused expressions… "Um… Nothing?"

"Right," Powerglide's stomping back to his room. "If that fragger comes back, chase him out for me, will ya?"

"Not a problem." Says Slingshot.

"Good." Powerglide slams his door and we just look at each other. What in the name of Primus just happened?

The door opens. Airraid's back. Guess I was just being paranoid. "Um… Why was Smokescreen running down the hall just now?"

Don't laugh… Slingshot and I look at Airraid, then at each other… Don't laugh…

I giggle.

* * *

Well, that's chapter two for you. Bah to angst. Just because a fic deals with something sad doesn't mean everyone is all mopey. And for those of you who were wondering why the heck Powerglide did that, flyer mentality. PG knew that Smokescreen was getting on his fellow flyers' nerves, so he went and chased Smokescreen off. Possibly, he was also trying to cheer them up, it was a rather ridiculous method.


	3. Fault

HOMIGAD! AN UPDATE! Sheesh, took me long enough. Sorry for the ridiculously long wait, I'd set myself deadlines, but believe me, that just makes it worse… **HOWEVER** I somehow got a flash of inspiration, or maybe the plot bunny came out of hibernation, because I already have the next chapter finished as well! So expect another update in a week.

**V Notch**- A "V" shaped notch on the leading edge of a storm supercell visible to radar, it indicates an extreme updraft surrounded by divergent winds, evidently, even the best of flyers want to avoid these.

**Sprite** – Lightning that goes upward from the clouds in a giant cone, right up to the mesosphere, that's 90 km above the earth. It is possible that they are powerful enough to vaporize an aircraft. **Blue Jets** are another type of lightning that goes upwards, though they only reach about 50km above the earth, they are positively charged, and, for some reason, the unusual charge is deadly to aircraft.

* * *

_We did a good job of trying to avoid the choice; there wasn't a moment for a whole two weeks when we were all together. But eventually Prowl gave us an ultimatum: Decide Silverbolt's fate or he would. We knew what he'd choose._

_Chapter three – __**Fault**_

_-345 days left-_

- Fireflight's POV. May 25th. 9:45 AM -

Sunny day today, perfect for flying. I think I'll go outside. That way I can avoid Prowl and Smokescreen for a bit too… Yeah. I'll do that.

Transform, throttle, and up I go! No matter what, even when I'm miserable, flying just lifts my spirits. Its so peaceful up here, away from the clutter and closeness of ground, helps me think. Or not think, whatever works.

Wow, look at that, there's only a few clouds, it really is beautiful. Hunh, and that jet over there and…

Is that Airraid? I hope so, I don't wanna fight a Seeker. Oh yeah, it's Airraid, no Seeker flies like that. I speed up to catch up to him.

"Airraid!"

"Oh hey Flight." He angles closer to my wing. "Sup?"

"Just felt like flying…"

"You too eh? Sling's down in the canyon, think he's trying to kill himself down there."

"He is?" I know its just an expression but…

"NO! No… no, um he's just flying like a maniac… yeah."

"Yeah…" I should say something, the silence it getting to me. Strange, I like sitting in the quiet, it's nice… But not now, every time I try to stay in the silence, I hear Silverbolt telling me… Telling all of us that it was our fault he did that. Was it? Did we make Silverbolt do that? "Airraid, why did Silverbolt do that?"

"What!?"

"HEY!" I barely roll out of the way when he jerks. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say…

"What-what did you just say Flight?"

"Nothing, forget it." Why did I ask?

"… No… We can't avoid this anymore can we?"

"I'm sorry Airraid."

"Lets… lets go with Slingshot."

* * *

- Skydive's POV. Same day, 9: 55 AM -

Fire, burning, everything burning, but I can't feel it, blue sky rushing upwards… Muddled voices calling my name… Impact, pain, yelling…

"_Silverbolt! Silverbolt! Wake up! WAKE UP!" It hurts…_

"_Stop it! You're making it worse!" Lots of voices…_

"_Get off him, let me… Sweet Primus! Wheeljack, get medbay set up right now, Priority One Alert. Set up life support and anything else we got!" What? What's going on?_

Sleep…

"Agh!" I snap awake, panting. That dream… That was Silverbolt… How am I seeing it through his optics?

Do the others have these dreams? Or is it just me… And why? Why am I seeing through his mind? Maybe I'm just imagining what it must have been like… Yeah, probably that. It was so awful to watch him fall, my mind's probably trying to understand how it felt to him. What else could it be? It's not like we're telepathic.

…

Right?

…

I'm probably just stressed, its nothing, I'm going for a flight. Clear my head. That'll do it… or not. I shut my door again. Not Smokescreen again, will he ever leave us alone? It's hard enough dealing with this on our own, but Smokescreen seems to make it worse… A knock on my door, I guess he saw me. Guess I should let him in.

"Hello Skydive, how is your team doing?"

"Fine. just fine."

He shakes his head at me. "If you guys are fine after all this, I'd be worried about you."

I give him a look, he gets the point and shuts up. Thank Primus for small miracles. I sit on the couch and he sits on a chair. "Why do you keep bothering us?"

"It is, unfortunately, my job. Besides, you have to choose, and soon. Or Prowl will."

"Yeah yeah…"

"Sorry Skydive, but it's a fact…" he leans back. "Look, I'll make you a deal. You and the other Aerialbots make your choice, and I'll tell Prowl, and never bother you again about this, sound alright?"

A trap, and I can't escape it, one way or another… "Fine… So then. Could you… do you know if… if…"

He waits patiently. Waits for me to say it…

"What are Bolt's chances of waking up and what's the longest someone's ever been in a coma before waking up?"

Smokescreen frowns thoughtfully. "His chances, I don't know then exactly, but they're about thirty percent, and staying that way."

"Thirty percent?" That's not much chance… I would never stake anything on that…

Smokescreen nods. "I'm sorry, but that how it is Skydive, the damage to his spark, while incidental, meaning it won't cause damage or problems later on besides any it already has, is quiet severe, so the medics are not sure what condition he is in concerning the ability of his spark to interact with his body."

"Oh…" Not nice, not good… What do I choose? Primus. "Thanks. I'll go find the others."

"I'll see you in a bit Skydive."

Just walk away…

* * *

-Slingshot's POV, Same Day, 10:00 AM-

Nose up, nose down, spin, left wing up, back down, whoa! Pull up pull up! Phew… Henh, lets see Skydive fly through THAT. Nothing like a lil canyon flying, its dangerous, but fun, love to see em Seekers try it.

Hmm… Maybe a lil cloud chasing… And away we go, as Powerglide says… henh. Hey! There's Fireflight with Airraid, wonder when he got here. Might as well fly up and say hi.

"Bored Sling?" Ach to you Airraid, I wag my wings at him.

"When you're this good, you get bored quickly." I say it lightly, like always, cause that's what I do. Airraid waggles his wings at me like he always does. Fireflight laughs and loops a bit. Like always. Just a thing we do, I don't think any of us takes it seriously.

"Yeah, yeah, we know," Says Airraid. "Hey, you guys see that?"

"Hunh? Yeah, it's some humans," Says Flight. "Propeller plane and all…"

"Pfft…"

"Hey guys, there's a storm coming." Flight loops away, tilting his wings to get a better look at the thunderhead.

"Who cares? We can fly in any weather."

Airraid laughs dourly. "Except tornadoes, you remember that?"

A snigger, I think it was me. "Yeah well, that doesn't count, I got knocked into the storm cell."

"Does so count!" He prods my wing with his. Flight giggles and arcs away.

"Come on guys! Lets get above the storm!"

* * *

-Airraid's POV, Same Day, 11:45 AM-

There's something about flying above a storm, watching the clouds flicker with lightning and the air roil with dangerous and unpredictable winds, it makes you feel alive. This is a big one, a real hurricane. We've gotta be careful, if we get to close to the supercell over there, near the storm's eye, it wouldn't matter if we had thrusters capable of Mach twenty, we'd still get tossed around like bits of rubble…

It's something else. At times like this, I can understand why some bots love this planet so much. There's nothing like this on Cybertron, there, the skies are predictable, the weather, controllable. I wonder what Megatron's cloud seeders would think if they ever saw what a real storm was. Probably head for home with their afterburners between their legs.

"Guys! There's a V Notch dead ahead!" Slingshot turns sharply and flies higher. Flight and I follow. As they say, Do Not Want.

"Phew, that was close!"

"Yeah."

A forth voice crackles over our radios weakly. "What are you guys doing?"

"Hey Skydive!" Calls Flight cheerfully. "We're storm-chasing! Come on out!"

"I already am out. You guys need to move! Are you not picking up on the readings!?"

Yikes! We make contrail for a new location. Whoa... that was close…

"Would you look at that," Fireflight breathes as we watch the sprites fire toward the stars. "Its amazing."

"Are you guys nuts?" Skydive wings his way toward us, easily cutting through the wind. It's strange, I'm noticing the lightning decals he has on his wings and tail right now, I mean, I know he's always had them, but I never really thought about it… Now I get it, Dive's a storm flyer. He thinks the rest of us don't notice how he always disappears when there's a storm nearby, but we do, and we've seen him fly right into the most dangerous part of a hurricane before.

And they call me the reckless one. Guess Dive gets his kicks in his own way, dodging lightning and wind. It takes a lot of focus and you've gotta be aware of everything around you, or you'll get fried. It's even more dangerous than being in a dogfight, because at least then you can fight back.

"Yeah, but that's why you love us." I tease, rolling a bit.

A quiet chuckle. "Probably…" Skydive rolls, is he thinking about flying down into the storm? He'd better not be, we can take normal lightning, but that isn't normal lightning. "So anyways… guys… Smokescreen caught up to me."

"Oh yeah? What'd the shrink have to say?" Sneers Slingshot, an edge in his voice.

Skydive rolls onto his back. "He said Prowl's lost patience, either we decide now or Prowl does. He also said… that Bolt has a thirty percent chance of waking up."

* * *

-Slingshot's POV, Same Day, 12:30 PM-

Nobody's saying anything. It's been almost an hour. Course, who wants to be the one to say we should let Bolt go?

"But there is a chance right?" Fireflight asks, he's always so positive; even now he's trying to be optimistic. "So he could wake up and then everything would go back to normal."

No, things would never be normal Flight, don't be dumb. But no one ever says that to Flight, because Fireflight isn't being dumb, he's holding onto a thread of hope with all his strength. He always does that, and it gives the rest of us a little light too sometimes. He's probably the only reason we're still a team. Who can refuse Flight?

"Yes, there is a chance," Says Skydive. "But not much of one."

"But it's still a chance!" Insists Fireflight. "He just needs time to wake up!"

A harsh laugh from Skydive, Primus, I didn't know he make a sound like that. "Time! Time! Fireflight you idiot, we're not allowed to give him that time!" He didn't just… say that to Flight…

"Hey! Watch who you're calling an idiot Dive!" Snaps Airraid, as Flight veers off, stricken. "Flight's just trying to help!"

"You're right, I should be calling you the idiot Airraid," Spits Skydive. "You're the reason Bolt flew in front of those missiles!"

Whoa, what's going on? "Guys stop it! What are you doing?" I edge a bit closer.

"I… never thought he would," Raider whispers. "I'm sorry Dive, I just didn't think about it-"

"Then maybe you should have!" Yells Skydive. "Maybe I'd still have my brother!"

Flight edges around to me, his flaps are trembling. "Slingshot…" He says, he sounds scared. "Why are they fighting? Skydive never fights or yells."

"I don't know Flight."

Airraid arcs away. "You think I don't know that!?"

Fireflight flinches. "Sling, what do we do?"

I don't know, I've fought with Raider before, but we always end up laughing, this is different, this is wrong. "We… let them get it out… It'll be okay…" I hope.

Dive chases after Airraid. "I'm sorta surprised that you do since nothing ever got into you processor before!"

Airraid. "At least I know how to have fun!" But he sounds so defensive.

Dive starts flying around Airraid, like he does when he's trying to draw a seeker into a dogfight. "Oh really? Is going off on your own and getting a wing shot off fun? Is not thinking and killing your commander _fun_ Airraid?"

"Harsh." Well, what else can I say? This is brutal; I've never seen Skydive like this. Flight's right; this is scary. The wind is picking up and starting to push us around, the eye of the hurricane is getting close. "Guys, we need to go!"

"SHUT UP!" Yells Airraid. "It was an accident! I didn't mean for it to happen!"

"Of course you didn't," snarls Skydive. "That would require _thinking_!"

Fireflight flies higher to escape the wind, I follow him, but Skydive and Airraid… I don't think they notice…

"Damn it Dive! It was an accident! I'd do anything to fix it!"

"Too bad you can't! No Chronosphere around here Raid! We can't change the past!"

Airraid is blown too the side and down by the wind, I can see him struggling to get out of the air currents when lightning flashes, otherwise, he's invisible in the black clouds. Skydive is still chasing after him, avoiding the wind but somehow staying close. This is bad; this is really bad… something could go wrong too easily. "Flight… "

Fireflight draws closer. "I know… I'm scared for them too…"

More lightning, some of it going towards the sky, some streaks over Skydive's nosecone and past Airraid's wing. Skydive veers away, startled. Now's a chance! "Skydive! Airraid! Get out of there!"

"Hurry!" Yells Fireflight. "The wind is going to kill you if you stay there!"

Skydive arcs up towards us, but Airraid stays below, the wind is pushing him around like a leaf. "I can't! The wind's too strong!"

"We've got to help Airraid!" Says Flight. "He'll be killed!"

"No." Says Skydive softly, flatly. "If we go down, we'll be caught in the winds too."

"And whose fault is it that Airraid stuck down there in the first place!?" I snap at Skydive. He rolls away from me and down, is he thinking about going back down?

"He didn't think," Is the only answer I get. That's not enough, damn you Skydive!

"You chased him into the storm!" I yell. "You knew he wouldn't be able to escape it!"

Skydive doesn't do anything, doesn't say anything, just flies with Flight and me. Where's Airraid now? I can't see him, even when the lightning flashes. The storm blocks our radar; we can't find him. "Airraid!" Cries Flight. "Airraid! Where are you?"

Suddenly I see a flash of white. "There! He's there!" Airraid's in robot mode, he's got his wings held tight to his body, but he doesn't have the power in his leg thrusters to get free. Before Flight or me can do anything, Dive shoot towards him.

"Airraid! Grab my tailfin!" Airraid reaches out and manages to grab on. Skydive's struggling with the added resistance, but he's making it. Slowly, he drags Airraid out of the storm and to us. It seems like an eternity.

"Th-thanks Dive…" Airraid transforms to jet mode again. "Lets get out of here guys…"

Skydive flies around us, so Flight and I are between him and Airraid. "South." He says shortly, so we fly south.

How can the other Autobots manage to get anywhere on this planet before the Decepticons do? They have to follow roads, and they can't even go faster than three hundred miles an hour. For us, a thousand miles can flash by in a minute. What is far when you're a jet?

"Skydive," Says Fireflight. "It wasn't Airraid's fault."

"Yes it was Flight," Says Airraid, before Dive can say anything.

"No it wasn't! You didn't mean it!"

"Its still my fault."

"For once Airraid, you and I agree," Come Skydive's icy tones.

"No, its not Airraid's fault!" Insists Flight. "Tell them Slingshot."

I don't say anything. I don't want to be a part of this. Truth is, I do think it was Airraid's fault, but I think it was also my fault and Fireflight's fault and even Skydive's fault. None of us really were good to him; we made fun of his phobia, we humiliated him in front of officers and we never gave him rest. Thinking about it right now, I sorta wonder why he stuck with us. Was the Gestalt programming so strong that he couldn't leave us even when he wanted to?

"See, he agrees," Says Skydive, sounding self-righteous.

"I'm staying out of this," I snap, angling away. "I don't want to be a part of you trying to kill _my_ brother."

"Watch your mouth!" He spits.

"Make me!" I dive down, close to the Earth. Down here is my element. I fly best where others are scared to soar. A glint of something in the distance catches my optic, strange, what is it? I tune out the fight between the others and focus my radar on it.

_Starscream_…

He's the one who did it, he wanted to kill Silverbolt and he planned the trap. "Guys! Starscream! Six miles west!"

It's his fault, more than ours.

_Starscream…_ I will kill him. I fly towards him, arming my weapons. "Slingshot! Wait!" Yells Flight over my commlink, but I don't care. Hero-worship _this_ you overgrown kite!

"Well well, what have we here?" Sneers Starscream. "Where's your _leader_ little Autojet? Aren't you tagalongs afraid to go outside without supervision?"

"You…" I shoot a missile at him, and I fire my guns. "Die you glitch!"

He dodges and weaves effortlessly, laughing at me. "Weakling Aerialbot! You think you can defeat _me_? How amusing!"

"Slingshot! We're coming!" Yells Airraid. "Hold on!" I dive low; I'll fly up under Starscream and kill him!

Starscream laughs coldly and arcs toward me. "Pathetic fool…" Right before he crashes into me he spins and… My wing! He sliced off my wing! I can't fly! I'm falling!

I can see the ground coming up, transform to robot mode, activate leg thrusters; there, I'm slowing down, that's better. Ah! My wing… it hurts… I look at it, its shredded, leaking energon… Primus, the agony…

"SLINGSHOT!" A yell. "You're wing! Your wing! It's going to catch fire!"

What? What does Skydive… oh… energon is explosive… and its leaking... dripping past my thrusters.

Slag…

I don't want the last thing I hear to be Starscream laughing, and the whoosh of my internals catching fire. It… I can't even feel it…

So this is what it was like for Bolt; sound and light everywhere, but you can't feel yourself dieing… Does it hurt to hit the ground?

A crash, screeching metal… that was me… it does hurt… and now I can feel the fire… I can hear screaming… that's me… but I'm so detached from it all… so calm inside…I'm going to die right here… I can tell, its all going black and quiet…

Slag.


	4. Breaking Point

Strange how things go… We were so close to choosing, so close to letting Silverbolt go and then we lost the ability to choose. Maybe it was a good thing, by the time we awoke; there was no more Choice.

_Chapter four –__** Breaking Point**_

_-344 days left-_

-Fireflight's POV, May 26th, 7:17 AM-

I've been awake for a while now; I can't stop thinking about… whatever happened. It was the four of us against Starscream; we should have won. But he kept avoiding us and he shot at us… It's all blurred in my head, but I still remember bits.

Slingshot saw him first, went right for him, head on, shooting everything he had. Starscream just avoided the fire, and spin, slicing Slingshot's wing off with his own. Slingshot transformed and hovered, but the energon leaking from his wing caught fire from his thrusters and he… burned.

It was like watching Silverbolt all over again, except this time I heard Starscream laughing.

"_You sparklings are too easy to kill! At least your "Leader" entertained me!"_

Skydive… I remember hearing something in him… snap. He chased Starscream, not thinking, not planning, he was yelling and screaming wildly at the Seeker, giving it everything he had. Starscream just laughed... he said something, and I can't remember exactly what, but it set fire in my spark.

I've never felt like that before; I wanted to kill Starscream, to make him pay, no matter what. Airraid was with me, we were so angry that we didn't even think of each other, we only wanted Starscream to die. I saw Raid and Dive collide in midair, and Starscream coming at me…

But I don't remember the missile or crashing, though I know I did because I'm missing half my leg, my nosecone is crushed and my wings are shredded. It only sorta hurts, so I guess Ratchet turned off my sensor net.

Maybe I should look around and stop thinking about it. We're all in the intensive room… so that means we all survived, that's good. Over there that's…. that's Silverbolt, he's hooked to a life support and he looks like he could wake up an moment… Mind, I guess that's what he's looked like for the last two weeks. The others look like that too actually; I could almost pretend Silverbolt was there with is at that fight and-

But he wasn't, he was here in medbay, in his coma… Oh no, what if one of the others got spark damage too? Primus, please no! Look at the others, the monitors above them, but I can't understand the readouts… Maybe if I check Silverbolt's monitor, it should be different than theirs…

Okay… I shouldn't glance at him, but its hard not too… I wonder why his head is turned, doesn't that pinch lines? Maybe not, I glance at his face and blue optics before looking to the monitors. So if there is some sort of pattern in there that's…

Wait… Blue optics?

But… Only online optics have colour… That means… that means… Silverbolt is… My spark feels like its going to burst, he's... awake?

Did I imagine it? Oh no, maybe I did, I can't look in case it was just my imagination, but I've got to… just a quick glance, that's all…

H-he's… looking at me… Silverbolt's awake… That means… That means everything's okay now! Silverbolt's alright and everything will go back to normal except now we'll all know better so it won't happen again! I'm so happy; this is the best thing that could ever happen!

"Silverbolt! I'm so happy to see you!" I sit up and smile, ow… maybe I shouldn't have done that, but still, I can't stop smiling now. "I was so worried about you. Well we all were actually, and Prowl told us we had to choose when to give up on you and Fastrack was being nice, so were Powerglide and Skyfire, they did a lot to help us."

Silverbolt's optics dim and then brighten at me. I guess he doesn't realize how long he's been out. That's okay, I can tell him about everything he missed. "Sorry Bolt, I'm starting in the middle. Do you remember when we were flying formation and you blocked two missiles and crashed? You went into a coma from it. It's been two weeks since then." There, now he'll get it and start talking again.

Except he doesn't, unless his optics flickering uncertainly counts. Maybe he's tired; comas aren't like recharging I'm sure. And he needs to think it over; it must be a bit scary to realize you've been asleep for weeks. I wish he's smile back at me though.

"It's good to have you back you know," I say. "We've all missed you. Slingshot's been miserable; Airraid acts like he wants to die and Skydive's been so moody it's scary. I was scared for you, I didn't want you to die, but it would have been horrible if you never woke up."

Silverbolt tilts his head slightly away, but he's listening to me, I can tell. He still looks confused though, staring at me blankly. That seems a bit… off. But then, maybe his systems are just taking a really long time to cycle online properly. I wonder if he's in pain; it doesn't look like he is. Now that I'm not talking he's looking around slowly.

"You didn't miss much," Now I'm just talking to block out a little voice in my head. No, nothing can be wrong, Bolt's okay, that's all that matters. "Not much has happened, well nothing really important anyways…" Slowly he looks at me, then at the others, then back at me, his optics questioning. "Well, except Starscream beat us in a dogfight, but everyone's okay, see?" I point to the other Aerialbots. "They'll be thrilled to see you awake. I'm so glad." I smile at him, saying all those things made me feel really good, because I've let it all out I guess, and this time Silverbolt smiles back at me, like everyone does, but its his smile and now I'm happier than I can ever remember.

"We're all finally back together again," I tell him happily. "All the Aerialbots."

His smile fades a bit and he opens his mouth to speak. "Who?"

He spoke! I was right, he just needed time to adjust and… Oh, he said… "What do you mean "who" Bolt?"

"Aerial… bots… who is Aerialbots?" He says it slowly, focusing on the words.

I laugh at him. "Silly!" But he looks even more confused… He really doesn't… remember? I lean forward a bit, I can't move much with the damage. "The Aerialbots Silverbolt, you're our leader. You know, you're gestalt team?"

"…No."

"Sure you do," I chuckle weakly, my spark suddenly feels really cold… "You remember me don't you?" His head makes the slightest movement, No. "I'm Fireflight, remember? And Slingshot and Airraid? Right?"

He looks at me with confused optics. "No… names… words…"

"What about Skydive?" I can feel my hands trembling, my spark freezing; it hurts. "He's your brother, you have to remember him!" No his optics say, no he doesn't know this name. "We're a gestalt! A Combiner team! Superion! Don't you remember!? Vector Sigma reconstructed our sparks and made us spark brothers!" I think I'm yelling; I can hear my voice echoing. "You remembered _your_ name!"

He looks scared and confused. "No, I… you say "Silverbolt" to me like I am Silverbolt, so I know… maybe know… I am Silverbolt." He looks exhausted from speaking.

"You… Didn't remember… your name?" Oh no Primus, please no…

"No…" He says it softly, weakly, sending a blast of pain through my spark. He's forgotten; he's forgotten everything. The Autobots, the Decepticons, Cybertron… everything… Even us, his family.

"I'm sorry," It's so quiet I barely hear it. "Don't be…" He's struggling with something. "Scared? Don't be scared."

"I'm not scared Silverbolt, I'm… I don't know." I really don't… Silverbolt's awake but… he's not the same, will never be the same again. It's still him, but so much is gone.

"You are… not happy… that is scared?" A question… He doesn't remember the word.

"Sad… Scared is different," I force out, to help him, its not Silverbolt's fault he forgot words… and people.

"Sad…" He says it slowly. "Don't be sad, I'm sorry."

"Sure thing Bolt," I keep thinking my spark can't hurt any more, but every time he talks it contracts painfully again. I try to smile for him, and it works I guess, because he smiles back and its his smile, the one we'd see in those rare times he had no work and he was relaxed. He looks up tiredly, optics dim. I bring my only knee to my chest and wrap my arms around it, watching him. After a while, his optics offline and Silverbolt sleeps.

This time though, I know he'll wake up. But I also know he still won't remember me.

* * *

"Fireflight," I look up, Ratchet is looking at me with sad optics, when did he come in? "Don't give up hope, you never know." I nod mechanically. _Don't give up hope_, they all say that. It sounds so… hollow right now. "I mean it, he was very lucid and even if he can't remember you, he recognized an emotional bond to you. He may remember some things later on. Memories can be triggered.

Hope. "How? What can we do?" I don't care what it is as long as it brings Bolt back to us.

"Sometimes familiar things will do it. A certain trigger," Says Ratchet. "Familiar feelings, tastes sound, sights, those kinds of things. But he'll never fully regain his memory."

"Oh…" Well, what else can I say? What can I say when my spark is so full of hurt I want to scream?

"I'm sorry," Ratchet sits beside me, being careful not to accidentally yank any of the wires connected to me. "But there is little I can say for sure right now. Except that you will have to be very supportive of Silverbolt at this time. I know it is hard for you, but I promise that I will do whatever I can to help you," He looks at the others, still asleep. "You all will need to stick together, even more than usual. But I'll talk to them about this… you won't have to tell them."

"Th-thank you Ratchet." I can feel myself trembling, shaking. Ratchet wraps his arm around my shoulder and I… that's sound… I think it's me… crying… It's just too much, just too much. Silverbolt, Silverbolt…. He's gone… different… lost in his own body…

It's easy to let Ratchet hold my shoulder, easy to keep keening and lean on him… easier than keeping it all inside… But it hurts Primus, it hurts…

Make it stop… please…


End file.
